Go team!

In effort to fight away the blues and more pity parties, I've decided to keep myself busy with a few projects.  

When the Redskins training camp came to town a few weeks ago, the town was splashed with burgandy and gold.  Seeing such a great display of team spirit, I decided to join in on the fun...the only problem us that hubs is a, gasp, Cowboys fan.  So, to make things fair, I knew that however I displayed my team spirit I needed to reflect his as well.  After spending the morning gaining inspiration from Pinterest & Etsy, I decided to try my hand at making a rag wreath.  Half my wreath would be burgandy & gold, the other half Cowboy colors.    It didn't take long at Joanne's to find to right materials, before long I was back on my couch cutting/ripping fabric into strips.  I spent the remainder of the day ripping and tying fabric.  Here's the final product!

Stay tuned for future project posts including crocheting attempts, creating jewelry organization, hair ribbons & wedding tutus...wish me luck!

A Gift of Time

Being on leave from work has given me a gift, the gift of time.  Each weekday morning I get to wake my little man up, watch cartoons and make breakfast with him.  Some mornings we even have time for simple pleasures like cooking eggs together.  He loves to crack the eggs.  Not every morning is sunshine and rainbows.  Sometimes my little  man wakes up grumpy just like anyone else.  Either way, a morning full of grumps or a morning with a sunshiny face, I get to enjoy the morning without that harried, rushed feeling of needing to get out the door so that I can get to work on time.   We don't have a long leisurely morning, Little Man still goes off to "school", but those 30 minutes are a gift that I need to remember to treasure.

Keeping Busy

My due date is creeping closer and my to do list is growing!  I'm trying to steadily work on getting ready for this baby.  The good thing about #2 is that I'm not really all that worried about getting it all done before he gets here.  I have baby blankets, burp cloths, bibs and sock in piles on the nursery floor.  I need to start running them through the wash, but I'm not so motivated to do that until I can figure out where they will go.  This has led me to search Craigslist for dressers or dresser/changing table combo.  There are plenty out there, but do I really need a dresser/changing table combo?  Is that a waste of money?  In a year or so I'll just be changing him on the floor anyway.

I brought down all the bottles & bottle accessories this morning, I'll boil/sterilize them and find a home for them in a cabinet. I'll get to those later... For now, I'm still on the couch, trying to teach myself to crochet and trying to fight away some of the blues.

I'm not really sure why I'm feeling blue.  I think maybe part of it is frustration with my physical limitations.  Bending over is comical.  Getting up off the couch or bed is a struggle, and doing any sort if physical exertion (grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning...) for longer than 30 minutes is exhausting and results in contractions.  Most of the time, I feel ready to no longer be pregnant....but soooo not ready for this baby to be here.  I miss my friends, my coworkers and my family.  I miss being social.  I miss seeing my feet.  

Getting Personal

When I started writing this Blog a year ago, it was mostly to document the house building process, with a little bit of personal mixed in.  I found that writing a blog was a lot harder than I expected.   Who is my  audience?  Why do they care about what I have to say?  How personal am I willing to get?  In addition to all these questions, my writing skills were/are challenged by this form of writing.   I've spent the last several years writing technical documentation and training material.  I strive to be succinct, and to the point.  No room for flowery descriptions or lengthy directions.  My audience needs to be able to look at the paper/website and glean the information they need in a very short amount of time.  I'm careful to leave out personal opinion and emotion from my documents and presentations.

When i wrote about my feelings last night, I was reminded how cathartic writing from the heart could be.  I realized that maybe it's ok to open up a little.  I don't need to pour my heart out in every post, but I do need to put more me into my writing.  I look forward to this challenge. I hope to see my creative writing ability improve.  

I still don't know my audience for this blog.  I don't know if I'm writing for a specific demographic (cooks, crafts, moms, general).  For right now, I'm writing for myself; and, if you want, if you have the time, stop by and read what I have to say.  

Pity party, table for one.

It's been a long, difficult pregnancy.  Having been put on modified bed rest since June, I feel like I've missed out on so much.  I feel out of touch with my friends, out of touch with my coworkers (and all the good gossip), and out of touch with my family.  My heart feels like it breaks a little each time I realize I can't go somewhere (a party), or do something (like take my son th Busch Gardens).   I cry a little each time I have to decline an invitation to lunch or to spend a day in the park.   None of the tears, heart aches and sadness compares to what I feel like for missing my sisters bachelorette party.

In the beginning planning stages, before I got put on rest, I revelled in coming up with thoughts and ideas to make my sisters bachelorette day special.  As time went on, and the pregnancy complications intensified, I realized that I would not be able to be there with her.  I stopped reading the planning emails, reading the subject line alone made my eyes water.  I quickly scroll over any Facebook status updates hinting at or referencing the events, what little I see makes my heart feel heavy.   I will probably take a Facebook hiatus tomorrow (the day of the party).  I don't think I can handle seeing the pictures or reading my newsfeed with out feeling bad for not being there.  I know my sisters understand why I'm not there....  I know that my OB wouldn't want me to go....   Logic isn't making me feel any better.

It's not just missing out on doing things that is getting me down, it's the constant fear of doing something that could put the baby at risk.   As far as complications go, being at risk for premature labor isn't terrible or horrifying.  There are certainly far scarier issues.  Each day is about symptom control, preventing contractions.  The hard part is remembering to limit myself before I start to feel bad and definitely before I start having contractions.  It must be hard for those around me too.  I look fine, there's no outward signs of when I'm nearing my limit... I just hit a wall out of nowhere.  The physical limitations also inhibit my emotions.  

This pregnancy had a very little opportunity for celebration, joyful shopping trips for layette or nursery decor.  Every phone call or conversation is focused on how he's doing... how I'm doing.  With 2-6 weeks left, it makes me sad realizing that when I look back on this pregnancy it's going to be filled with memories of fear, worry, concern, and not joy, excitment, & wonder.   

Ok pity party over....for now.

The Perfect Summer Dinner

After celebrating my Father In Laws birthday, we were sent home with some beautiful tomatoes from their farm, Casselmonte.  The tomatoes were just begging to be made into a BLT!

To keep the meal light and refreshing on this HOT summer day, I made a yummy Watermelon salad.  I loosely followed this recipe: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/patrick-and-gina-neely/watermelon-salad-recipe/index.html

Building something new

Here we are, 6 months after we moved in.  We finally have Internet service!  My MacBook is broken, so for now I am posting via my iPad.

6 months post move and we still have so much work to do.  Our latest project is setting up a big big room, since we are only a few short months away from expecting a new baby boy!  I guess that means we need a new nickname for Baby L.  If I asked him, I'm pretty sure he'd say it should be little monkey.  He loves to spin around and howl like a monkey.  It's cute...except when he ones it really loud or when we are in the car.